10/28/12 : In Which I Prepare For A Hurricane

First and foremost let me say I'm not scared of Sandy. That said, half of Long Island is evacuating. I'm not in the evac zone up here in Queens, so in theory we're looking pretty steady. That's the theory I'd like to hold to, so here's hoping it's nice and valid.

In other news I just got back from the gym for the first time in far too long and my arms and chest and shoulders are mightily protesting that fact. I've learned I have a new motivating figure. Before I get into that, I'll explain a small thing. I don't like to go to the gym, and the only way I can motivate myself to get through a workout when I do go is to have a goal in mind. For most of the summer, that goal was Andrew Garfield in The Amazing Spider-Man. Today, that changed to Game of Thrones's Jon Snow. Pictures included for reference.

I'm not entirely sure why my mental goal has beefed up so much, but it seems to have gone from a still-kind-of-scrawny but well-defined geek to a rather buff rough-and-tumble swordsman. I'm pretty okay with this. I think part of that is because I'm still really skinny but so are a lot of images of Spider-Man. That might have started to not be enough, though, so I needed something a bit manlier.

Anyway, that's my random updatelet. There will be more of these as time goes by but it's time to go now. Headed to Target to get a few last minute supplies. Bye-o!

10/25/12 : In Which I Was Unproductive

I gave myself one job today. One task to complete. And as I'm sure you can already tell, I did not complete it. What, you ask in disbelief, was this monumental task that he speaks of? What Herculean obstacle did he wrestle against? What boulder did our modern Sisyphus attempt to roll up that treacherous mountain? Well I'll tell you, my faithful friends. I'll tell you in hopes that the shame of a defeat so complete, so fully realized, will push me to try again tomorrow to mount an offensive again the enemy that trounced me on the battlefield today.

I speak, of course, of my bedroom.

But Jesse, I hear you saying now, surely you could muster up the motivation to at least move that small mountain of laundry from your floor to the hamper! "But alas!" I retort, hand placed dramatically against my forehead. "There are still, like, three clean socks and a shirt in that hamper. I would have to move those first!" And at this point you're likely getting annoyed and wondering why I don't just do that, then. Well to that I must answer, "I don't have drawers in which to store them!" Also I might remark that drawers doesn't look like the right word but I'm pretty sure it is so you should ignore that. The rest of this dialogue is likely you wondering why I don't have drawers and me revealing that none of the furniture in my room is mine, and the wire shelves I've been storing my everything in are being taken back by the former occupant of said room, so I'm short on storage. Then you ask, well, all of your clothes that aren't hanging in your closet are dirty so why not at least put them in your hamper and then the conversation gets way too circular and we both explode in a mess of unnecessary verbosity and boredom at this truly meaningless topic.

In lighter news, I bought light bulbs so I'll finally be replacing the one in my room which has been out for a month and the one in the living room which we lost today maybe? I don't know. I never go out there. And now I'm going to wait for Claire to get home so we can be adorable and have a nice Skype-date with dinner and wine.

Peace out,
Jesse

I Want Things

Guys. GUYS. Guys. Seriously. I want everything. I'm gonna write a little about some things I want. Because I'm a consumer whore of a capitalist pig, but also because some things are just awesome.

Thing I Want Number One : A Triumph Motorcycle

The Triumph Bonneville is a beautiful machine. Especially the T100 model. Classic look with modern engineering, it's a racing bike for a real man. Or woman, I'm not going to deny anyone the majesty of this bike. I first discovered the Triumph thanks to Metal Gear Solid 3 (possibly the strongest entry in that series, but that's a different story). In the game, one of the supporting characters drives a Triumph motorcycle with a sidecar. I'm not positive, but I think she drove a Bonneville, and the game was set in the sixties so that makes sense. Anyway, not only was it awesome, but it was an epiphany for me. No longer did I think that the Kawasaki Ninja was the coolest motorcycle. Those were toys for kids who wanted to look fast and sleek. No, the true epitome of motorcycle coolness was a Triumph. These are not to be confused with Harleys, either. The Harley Davidson, while it has a certain amount of American appeal, is not my kind of bike. If I'm to have one, it's going to be a Triumph, and it's going to be awesome.
Thing I Want Number Two: A dog
Dogs are the best. No one can deny this. Loyal, lovable, cuddly, and kind, dogs are the perfect pet. They're more than pets, even. Dogs are companions. Dogs are friends. At the moment I'm in love with Boxers. While I've never had one of my own, the few I've played with have been sweet and playful. And they use their front paws like hands! So cute. Also, everything I know about them makes them seem more like mischievous little pals than simple pets. I can't help but want one, despite the impracticality of having a dog of any kind in my current living situation. So while I know it's currently a pipe dream (and probably will be one until I'm making millions, at least while I'm living in the city) it's a very nice one.
Thing I Want Number Three: An Acoustic Bass
This one's a little different than the others, because while the one I've linked to is far out of my price range, there are models for under $200 and that's affordable if I save up (and get a day job *fingers crossed*). While I have an electric bass, I'm currently without an amp other than my laptop, and the set-up to make that work is a bit complicated. I mostly want an acoustic bass because it would be easier to practice with, but it would also mean I could take it out into the world and play. Some of them also have a great sound to them, and as much as I love the big boomy vibration of a great electric bass with a good amp, there's something to be said about acoustic. I have an electric guitar (though it isn't currently in my possession) and I enjoyed messing around with it, but I never gave it the time I should have. I mostly just miss playing music, and without a band to back me up I guess I don't do it consistently? But I should. And I will. And perhaps when I do, if I have the money, I'll reward myself with an acoustic bass!

Aaaaand... That's it for now. Three things I want, in ascending order of likelihood of me getting them any time soon. Maybe I'll do this again some time. More likely I won't. But who knows!

The Triumphant Return

The other day I was wondering why I even bother trying to write a blog. I've been neglecting my writing wholesale lately, especially after the move to New York (Oh yeah, I'm living in Queens now. It's awesome.) and it seemed strange to me that the thing I've been coming back to over and over is this blog. I tried and failed four times since I got here to write out a blog post, but it's been little more than a crappy status update each time, nothing that anyone who isn't my friend on facebook would give two halves of nothing about. That's not to say that I'm writing for an audience, or that I need what I write to be read to feel that it's valid, but heck if it doesn't help. Anyway, I kept thinking basically the same thing: Does anyone even read blogs anymore? Was that all just a flash in the pan? Then I realized, no. People still read blogs. Tumblr is basically the biggest thing around right now, even though most people don't put more effort into a post than hitting a little button that says "Reblog" and little more effort into reading them than watching some flashing text on a .gif of their favorite characters in some TV show. The internet has made it so that we never have to see anything new but can still get inundated with content that is tailored to our whims. We know this. It's been pointed out. But today I realized, I read a lot of blogs. I actually love blogs and had no idea. I read one about teen pop (Sean Rose's masterful Digital Get Down), one from my favorite comicker (Aaron Diaz's Dresden Codak tumblr), and I check out i09.com most days. So why the heck can't I figure out what I want to write about? I've got things to say, dangit! That's when it hit me that I never know what to write about because this whole blog set-up that I have going is too general. So this is essentially a post to say, I need something consistent to write about, and I'm not much for journals. I'll probably still do little update-type-things now and then here, and this will remain as my personal blog, but there's going to be something new in the works soon and when it hits it will have a topic, dangit. What will that topic be? Who knows. Maybe robots! Maybe adventures! Maybe robot adventures, or even something unrelated to adventures or even robots! I don't know yet, is what I'm saying. But I do like adventures and robots. Also, quick question for the comments: Does it help to have images interspersed within the blog? My gut tells me yes, but my heart tells me "yeah, but you don't want to put them so unless everybody says to put them or it's relevant just forget about it" and my brain tells me "Yeah, dude, every good blog has at least an image or two when it's relevant, but you probably don't need it" so I'm mixed up. Done rambling now.

America's Mask Tradition

Throughout history, mankind has been fascinated with the mask. We've fashioned them out of everything from animal hides and bone to wood to high-quality polyurethane, for dozens of purposes. Most often, masks have been associated with a performative aspect of a culture, be it the Japanese art of Noh or the Italian (and later European) theatrical style of the Commedia del Arte. Each mask is associated with different characters, and each has codified factors that denote who the character is and what they do in the world of the play. Masks are so common, in fact, that they've been found in almost every culture around the world.
What is odd, though, is that modern America has no unique or formalized or accepted form of masked performance. We are obsessed with realism, thanks to film, and masks on stage strike us as odd and off-putting. We want to see the actor's face to understand the emotions. Seeing something like this:

doesn't register to us as realistic. Bear in mind, that is the same mask shown at three different angles. Masks can give a wide range of emotional performances, but they require a certain style of training that is exceedingly rare in our commercialized entertainment industry.
But wait. There are plenty of masks on American stages. They just tend to look more like this:

or this:

and they're far more often associated with spectacle-heavy, art-light shows. Granted, Commedia in its original context had little to do with art, but it has become a theatrical tradition rather than simply a mode of entertainment. Mask work now is typically seen as either kitschy and child-friendly, or arcane and "artsy."
All of that discounts one thing, the true American Mask Tradition. I speak not of Julie Taymor-esque spectacle or Halloween antics, not of Hollywood slasher flicks or murder mysteries, but rather the Masked Hero. We see them all the time in movies and television, but we don't often associate their masks with their performance for the simple reason that the character is aware he is wearing a mask. Still, while America may not have originated the masked hero, we've certainly perfected it. For example, take Zorro. One of the earliest examples of a masked antihero in popular culture, he laid the groundwork for popular icons like Batman, the Phantom, and countless others. One man dons a mask to hide his identity and fights crime and corruption. It doesn't matter if the man behind the mask is a billionaire playboy, reclusive photographer, or sign-carrying lunatic in the street; when he's in the mask, he's the hero and we want him to win. We've also seen a great evolution of what a mask can become. For example:

As you can see, I've only included masks from film versions, as I am talking here about a more theatrical or at the very least performative mask tradition. However, what I want you to look at is the vast difference between some of these masks, from the foolishly simple to the elaborately obscuring. In every case, the mask augments the character, never detracting. That is the main objective in every situation. If the mask takes away from the character, it has failed. But Zorro's lends a vague anonymity (even though we can all see Antonio under there), The Phantom's gives a sense of unreality, Batman's strikes a certain sort of insane fear, Spider-Man's completely hides his identity, and Iron Man's serves as the hub of his tactical battle armor that he calls a suit. Each is best suited to its purpose, each designed for a reason just as much as the Noh or Commedia masks.
So, theatre scholars, eat your collective hearts out. Or, rather, nod your heads questioningly and proceed with your day.

Idea Snippet: The Lightning Rod

The lightning rod is a magical item that sits somewhere between the worlds of Dungeons & Dragons-style high fantasy and Dresden Files-esque urban fantasy. In truth, it could be easily justified, and created, in either world. It functions essentially as follows, and is on the surface quite simple.

First, one fashions their rod. For many this is a staff of some kind, typically a hardwood or metal, usually five to six feet long. On one end, the "top," a connecting port is fastened. This port uses gold filaments and a simple screw-in system found with most modern bottles, but could also connect to the bottle (which I will mention soon) in a variety of other ways. Once the connector is attached to the rod, a special bottle can be connected. This bottle is a vacuum tube with a gold filament coming out the top that serves as the current connection to the rod.

Now comes the tricky part: catching lightning in a bottle. This can be done in multiple ways, with two being most common. The first involves the already-connected rod and bottle. The user enters a clearing during a natural thunderstorm and extends the rod above himself. When lightning strikes the rod, the energy is stored inside the bottle for later use. The second method fills bottles without using the rod, and allows multiple bottles to be filled at the same time. Using an apparatus similar to an upside-down umbrella, the user sets out the bottle beneath the apparatus with its own extended lightning rod. Each bottle is connected to a wire that is connected to the rod. There should also be an extra grounding wire, unless the user plans to collect every bottle and dismantle the apparatus in the midst of the storm. Each lightning strike fills one bottle with one charge, which can then be magically unleashed using the lightning rod.

Alternatively, the bottles could be thrown. When they strike a hard surface, they will shatter and release all of their energy in an undirected blast, either escaping in a bolt toward the closest conductor or simply exploding in a sphere of electrical power. The rod is used to direct this energy in a single bolt at a specific target, though proper aim is incredibly important, and environments with multiple powerful electricity conductors or strong sources of ambient energy are likely to tamper with even an experienced user's aim.

Writers, creators, artists, what have you: Feel free to use this. Just thank me when you get published.

It's Time to Prepare for a Regime Change [APR 13]

Hello again, dear friends. How are you enjoying your day? Has it gone well? Good. I'll just leave this here...

Oh, wow. What's that? A little upset by what you just saw?
Good.
This video was brought to my attention by Wil Wheaton via his twitter feed (@wilw), and there was an article that accompanied it that laid out the facts nicely, but the long and short of it is basically as follows. A family from Kentucky were returning home from New Orleans when their six-year-old daughter was selected for additional screening. The TSA agent who performed the screening was very polite, explaining everything that she was doing very calmly to the girl, but apparently there was a supervisor on hand (maybe visible briefly in the background?) who adamantly refused the requests that instead of an actual pat-down, the young and confused girl be given another scan instead. The family has since been on television to talk about their experience, and young Anna has become something of a symbol for just how strangely far the government will go to "protect" its citizens.
Now, first and foremost let me say that we should not vilify the agent who performed the screening, nor even the supervisor who enforced it. They were both doing the job that has been laid out for them by people with access to information that isn't readily available to most people, and they've been tasked with a difficult job that doesn't earn them many hugs or high-fives. That said, the system that allows this sort of conduct is so obviously out-of-touch, so broken, that it must be and will be overhauled.
We, as Americans, have been living for the past ten years in a culture of fear. Actually, we've been taught and conditioned to fear everything for most of the lives of the oldest people in the nation, but that's a different story. Since 9/11, we have been told that there are enemies of America who will stop at nothing to destroy us, and that they will use absolutely any method that they can to do this. Thus, we submit to invasions of our privacy ranging from the inconvenient to the downright offensive in the name of "homeland security." Many of us hoped that some of this fear-mongering, often associated directly with the Bush administration, would subside with Barack "Hope and Change" Obama. This has obviously not happened. Technology is advancing to the point where a machine can get an accurate image of your naked body no matter what you're wearing, and those immediately went into airports for security purposes. We've heard about the Muslim Brotherhood, a Middle-Eastern political organization with heavy anti-West values, and they've dominated many stories coming out of the recent string of "Twitter Revolutions" happening in countries with oppressive regimes. We are safe from terror attacks, yes, but they still happen. Are we safer because of these screening and security measures, or are we not the biggest target anymore? I don't have an answer to that, yet.

Anyway, to get to my point, it's time to finally cast off this "culture of fear" mentality. A big part of that comes from tribalism, the idea that "our guys" are intrinsically different from "their guys" and thus "their guys" must be bad. For a lot of people, this is not the case. However, there are very vocal minorities that thrive on promoting this idea that America is the greatest and everyone else hates us because we're the greatest and they don't understand/ are jealous/ think we're hedonistic devils. I would posit that those in the international community who hate America (which I believe is just another vocal minority) are just reacting to our boastful proclaiming that we are the best and that all other nations should aspire to be like us. If Saddam Hussein had invaded America in 2003 with the promise to free us from our dictator, there would have been citizen insurgents fighting back here as well. Sure, Bush didn't commit the same sort of atrocities, and certainly not on Americans, but the idea of reciprocal situations should be taken into account. When we stormed into Iraq as "liberators" we caught a lot of flak from Islamic nations that saw it as an attack on their way of life. When we stayed back from Libya recently, showing support but not leading the charge, that did a lot to alleviate some of the fear of us that other cultures have. We are no long the nation that blindly rushes in to every conflict. We are no longer the great imperialist devils (and we really never should have been).

As for the title, I'm not calling for a new American revolution. I'm calling for a mass immigration to the land of sensibility, away from the jingoism and nationalism that is holding back the human race. Let Obama do his thing for now, and if he gets into his stride and continues to improve, I say let him keep the job for a while.

Just, dear god, please don't elect the Tea Party.