July 14, 2009; In which I discuss socks.

It is eleven o'clock at night on July 14th and my mind is wandering. Let me start by saying that the fact I have told you even that much is something of an accomplishment. As much as I fancy myself a writer, I have what might be the worst track record for finished projects in the history of people who frequently use the words "track record" and write about it... And let me continue by saying that it is an accomplishment because I plan to update this blog with something every day. But, as it is Hopefully Daily, this is not a guarantee.

Anyway, back to my wandering mind.

It is a truly unremarkable date. Save the fact that seven is half of fourteen and it just so happens to be Bastille Day (which applies to me not at all), the fourteenth of July means nothing to me.

And so neither does my topic for the day. My topic is socks.

Did you ever think about socks? I mean really sit down and give them some good brainspace? Until I was loading probably a hundred of them into the washing machine, I didn't. It got me thinking about what they are, where they came from, and why we persistently wear them. Allow me to take that piece by piece.

Socks are, in their most basic state, little cloth bags for your feet. They keep your feet marginally warmer than just shoes and provide a buffer between your skin and the often-abrasive inside of conventional footwear. They also collect all of the grime and foot-sweat so your shoes stink just a little bit less at the end of the day. And they get no respect. Other than hanging stockings up for Santa Claus, I was never raised to respect my socks. I never appreciated them. They were just there. Dirty or clean barely even mattered most of the time, because I was a child and kids simply aren't allowed to think about things like how clean their clothes are. Now that I am a little older, though, I like to think I take better care of my preliminary footwear.

Socks have been around basically as long as clothes, for the simple reason that a long long time ago some dude's feet got cold and scratched up. SO, he took a bit of animal skin and some ropey-type twine made from plant fibers and made himself a foot-bag. He probably referred to it as such, as well. Actually, more likely, it was probably a woman who invented this first sock, looking at her mate Ugoogoo's worn and disgusting feet. Ugoogoo was mocked and ridiculed relentlessly, until the other women of his little nomadic hunting tribe forced their male counterparts to wear the foot-bags as well. Over the next few centuries, the sock grew to be more refined, eventually being made from more comfortable materials following the invention of the shoe. By this point, thousands of people had all independently discovered or been told of socks, shoes, galoshes, and other footwear. There are socks in nearly every society, or at least every society worth noting. Show me one civilization that survived without socks! You can't! They're all dead now, from colds they got by stomping about in the winter with no socks on!

All right, about half of that was pure fabrication, but socks really have been around for a long time. I even have a source! It's this website!

Now, why do people wear socks? If you ask me, it's both a societal norm and a practical thing to do. Socks are inexpensive and prevent blisters, as well as keep your feet warm. What's not to like? Just, please, do not wear them with sandals. I'm all for tackiness, but that's just wrong.

Well, an unremarkable topic for an unremarkable day, but it's my first topic for my first day. Peace out, and see you tomorrow!