August 22, 2009; In which I make wild assumptions for no real reason

I have always hated ants. I hate them so much, for a few reasons that make sense and one particular reason that is kind of insane but terrifies me. I will tell you now how I feel.

Reason one for why I hate ants: There are freakin' billions of them. Seriously. Under the ground, wherever you are, right now, there are thousands. That goes for basically everywhere you are at any given time. All they have to do is start eating through the foundations of our buildings and we are superbly doomed. So, basically, they have the strength in numbers.

Reason number two for my undying hatred: They're crafty. You never know where they'll be or what they'll do. Take that box of cereal out of your cupboard and BAM! There's like, twenty tiny ants right under it, trying to eat your Apple Jacks. Step outside and right there, right on your front porch or doorstep or sidewalk, BOOM! Gigantic killer ant. There are so many kinds, and they are EVERYWHERE. EVERYWHERE.

Reason three: Hive mind. That's just creepy. One mind for thousands and thousands of potentially individual bodies? What happens if you kill the queen? If you move her, the rest follow unless another queen takes over. Seriously. That's true. Kill it and the rest might frenzy, just go freakin' nuts and start eating people. Ants will eat your babies.

Reason four, and this one is the irrational one: Ants are the most likely successors after humans as the creatures that will rule this planet. Seriously, those little creeps are smarter than they let on. We need to kill them all. Now. Before they kill us.

This paranoid rant is brought to you by me. So, NYAH!